Things I know...

December 21st, 2012

After several conversations with a few of my good male friends, I've come to an important conclusion....

I may not know or be good at a lot of things, but I'm absolutely certain there's one thing out there that I am just about unbelievable at. That of which I speak, is how to be the PERFECT girlfriend. 

It's not hard, here's how you do it:

1. Don't be clingy, keep your own life!

2. No crying unnecessarily (and no, when he wont watch the Bachelor with you, that doesn't qualify as necessary)

3. Don't get mad when he can't be somewhere you'd like him to be, due to work, etc. There are enough stresses in life, it's no fun when someone is always adding more.

In fact, don't even require him to explain it to you, you'd be surprised how quickly he starts just explaining it to you anyway, even though you never asked. 

4. Don't ask a million questions!

5. Relate everything possible to sex. 

6. Don't keep him from hanging out with his friends, in fact, wait for him to come home with snacks in his favorite lingerie, having had several beers yourself ;)

7. Don't complain or bother him about watching porn, it's nothing significant others need to be jealous of. Unless he's been stealing and then deleting YOUR porn, then you can yell at him. 

Or, if reads your Playboy before you've read from cover to cover. There's just no forgiving that. 

8. Keep things interesting in the bedroom, always look for ways to spice things up without going too crazy or too far, too fast. 

9. Never stop keeping yourself up, it's nice to look great and it will always keep your partner interested in looking nice for you too. 

10. Don't call or text all day, a man will always know how to find you if he wants to, no need to chase him. 

11. Keep things light. No need to make things super emotional, there's a time for sensual and sexy, and there's a time for playful and fun - which is usually more often. 

12. Quit showing men dumb things on your cellphone, especially pictures of your kids or dogs. Sure, maybe 1 in a million guys will actually be interested, but don't worry, that 1 guy will tell you he is. 

13. Above anything else, know how to shut the fuck up and smile. It's amazing how many men will never want to disappoint a beautiful smiling woman ;)


Wisdom at its finest.