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The "Hey, I Thought I Would Give it A Shot" Technique

December 7th, 2012


So last night something interesting happened to me. I was walking back to my place after having taken my puppy outside and as usual, someone stopped me to pet her before I got to the door. For those of you who have seen my little dog, you understand. She is super small and super cute, and SUPER friendly, so she gets loads of attention from anyone who passes her on the street, or sometimes even out of a moving car. When she was a puppy, people were known to have actually pulled their car over so they could pet her and ask me about her when she was out on walks.

Needless to say, this person who stopped me to pet her was of the male variety. He looked as though he was probably in his mid-to-late twenties and had clearly been in one of the neighboring bars for a few earlier in the evening. He wasn't belligerent by any means, but I could tell he'd had an after work drink or two.  So he tells me how cute my dog is and yadda yadda, and then introduces himself. 

Seemed nice, so I played along and shook his hand and answered his questions about where I was going and where I lived - vaguely - but politely, and smiled. After a few minutes of discussion and some flattery from his side, he apparently decided he should make his move. Keep in mind this is about 10 minutes or less from him having introduced himself. He turns to me and says, "would you like to invite me upstairs to maybe look at your view?"

Now for those of you who know me, you

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Things I know...

December 21st, 2012


After several conversations with a few of my good male friends, I've come to an important conclusion....

I may not know or be good at a lot of things, but I'm absolutely certain there's one thing out there that I am just about unbelievable at. That of which I speak, is how to be the PERFECT girlfriend. 

It's not hard, here's how you do it:

1. Don't be clingy, keep your own life!

2. No crying unnecessarily (and no, when he wont watch the Bachelor with you, that doesn't qualify as necessary)

3. Don't get mad when he can't be somewhere you'd like him to be, due to work, etc. There are enough stresses in life, it's no fun when someone is always adding more.

In fact, don't even require him to explain it to you, you'd be surprised how quickly he starts just explaining it to you anyway, even though you never asked. 

4. Don't ask a million questions!

5. Relate everything possible to sex. 

6. Don't keep him from hanging out with his friends, in fact, wait for him to come home with snacks in his favorite lingerie, having had several beers yourself ;)

7. Don't complain or bother him about watching porn, it's nothing significant others need to be jealous of. Unless he's been stealing and then deleting YOUR porn, then you can yell at him. 

Or, if reads your Playboy before you've read from cover to cover. There's just no forgiving that. 

8. Keep things interesting in the bedroom, always look for ways to spice things up without going too crazy or too far, too fast. 

9 Never stop keeping yourself up, it's nice to look great and it will always keep

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The Dangers of Eating Out

January 22nd, 2013


I know, I know, you were all hoping that by the title, this was going to be about some sexual innuendo. Sorry fellas, I meant "eating out" literally. But don't worry, my brain definitely ends up in the gutter too plenty of the time.

Here's something that occurred to me, yet again, while out to dinner with one of my friends the other night. Sure, we were probably in the restaurant for a good 2 hours between her getting there late, my taking my sweet time and reading while I was eating before she arrived, talking, etc. However, just because we were there that long, does that mean we have to talk to the stupid manager walking by over and over? Honestly, he probably stopped by our table 4 or 5 times within that 2 hours. He might as well have just sat right down and joined us. Not to mention, there was also the overly anxious waitress coming by every 5 minutes too. Now I know what you're thinking... he's coming over to our table all the time just because we're two attractive ladies. Of course that was true, but I also saw him doing the same thing to all the neighboring tables without cute ladies at them. 

It seems that people who work in restaurants have no concept of time and are always thinking that time is going much faster than it is because they have to haul ass. While I appreciate what they do, and that they are trying to speed things along for those who might be on a time crunch, if you're not - it's just super annoying to be checked on constantly. What I'm getting at here is that if

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Ah Male Friends :)

February 2nd, 2013


Here's an example of a great conversation I was having with one of my male friends recently:

He knows what I do for a living, as he has a bit of an alternative - but unrelated - career himself, but doesn't personally know much about the hobby community. I happened to mention to him what "Greek" meant in hobby terminology, as well as that there were many ladies out there who, not only offer it, but charge an extra 100 or sometimes 150 for it. He suddenly turned from the basketball game he had been completelty enthralled in and said, "now THAT's some useful information!"

I couldn't help myself, it was just super hilarious to me. We continued to talk about it, and I happened to mention that I personally was not into visiting the Greek islands and didn't offer it, no matter how much extra I could have charged. He then leaned in and said to me in a conspiratorial manner, "I'm not really into it either, but in front of my guy friends, I am."

Once again, I laughed my ass off. After that, I was inspired with the following:

(for those of you who are familiar with the show, How I Met Your Mother)

The Bro Code

#46: A Bro Always Pretends to like Greek in Front of his Fellow Bros

 

Love it.

Estella Ayres

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